Manage your fears before it takes control of your life!

We all have fears big and small!

Fear of failure

Fear of rejection

Fear of illness

Fear of death

Fear of not being good enough, not being worthy

Fear of not being loved

Fear of loneliness

Fear of the unknown

Accompanying our fears are negative thoughts, limiting beliefs, anxiety, stress and overwhelming emotions. Do you give into your fears and allow them to be the foundation of your life? When allowing FEAR to control our lives we are in fact preventing ourselves from moving forward and becoming better versions of ourselves. As scary as this may sound, embrace your fears don’t avoid them. STOP! Turn around and look your fear in the eye, while doing this ask yourself how can I take back my power?

Overcoming your fears

To each is own and there is no set fix or cure to overcoming your fears, it’s not as if you are going to wave a magic wand and “TA-DA” all your fears are gone! But the next time you are faced with a life decision ask yourself is my decision based on what I think and feel is best for me at this moment or am I basing this decision based on my fear? And if it’s the latter maybe it’s time to take the leap tackle your fears head on and let go of everything holding you back?

My fears

I had this immense FEAR of failure, for years I have been thinking of starting a blog and I always put it off making excuses. I had numerous fears in this regard, one being the fear of failure, the other being the fear of what people will say, or maybe people would think that I am not capable of blog writing. Then I decided that it would be better to try and fail, then to never try at all. I also came to the realization that I have nothing to lose but much to gain by taking this step. Low and behold here I am blogging for just over 6 months, I have had a few thousand pages views and even made it on the Feedspot top 100 life blog list. At the bottom of the list but hey I am there! It’s been such an insightful, thought-provoking journey. Had I allowed my fears to control me I would never be here speaking to you and sharing my everyday life experiences. 

The decision is yours

Fear will always exist in your life and mine. Do we embrace our fears and face them head on or do we allow our fears to control and limit the lives that we live?  Like most things in life the decision is yours to make. I honestly believe that within each of us lies immense strength and power. We need to tap into our internal resources and once we do so, we all become fearless knowing that we are equipped to deal with everything life throws our way. Trust yourself and know that you can and will deal with anything that comes your way.

“We don’t conquer our fears, fears are there as our teachers… what we do become is the master of it … mastering ourselves and who we are and knowing the many faces, personalities and strategies of our fears is key”, Bohodimax

Tools to help you conquer your fears

Journaling: What is the worst thing that can happen? Spend a few minutes jotting down all the worst-case scenarios, often you will realize that it’s not as bad as you actually think it is or it’s not as big as you have made it out to be?

Have a conversation with yourself? What would I be missing out on in my life if I did not do this? You could be missing out on love, growth, healing, the potential to be a better version of who you are. Replace your fears with a story of success that excites you?

This RAIN exercise from Tara Brach

First you need to learn to sit with your fears and notice the discomfort that it may be causing you. The four steps presented below can help you with freeing yourself from the shackles of your fears.

Recognize what’s happening.

How do your fears make you feel? When you think of any of your fears what sensations do you feel in your body? Do you feel your chest tightening, are you out of breath and overwhelmed, is there perhaps a knot in your stomach? Once you have established how the fear makes your body feel, go inward and explore the thoughts that are overtaking your mind. Also take note of what it is that you are telling yourself at that moment?

Self-Observe  and allow whatever it is that you are feeling to just be there. Let it exist in your body and your mind for that moment. Don’t try to repair anything. Try and make a habit of this, check in with yourself every day for a few minutes. Take note of reoccurring thoughts and body sensations.

Allow the moment to be exactly as it is. Don’t fight the thoughts, don’t try to push them out of your mind, just sit still, sit still with your feelings, thoughts, emotions and let them flow through you. You also need to try and remove judgement of the experience; it simply is what it is. It is important to know that there is no good or bad to what you are experiencing IT JUST IS. As we allow the thoughts, sensations and emotions to just be life becomes clearer.

Investigate your thoughts with kindness and no judgement. Go deeper, have a conversation with yourself asking what’s going on, and why is it arising? Listen to the voice in your head, what is he/she saying to you? What’s the fear?

Nurture –“the first three steps of RAIN require intentional activity. In contrast, the N of RAIN expresses the result: a liberating realization of your natural awareness. There’s nothing to do for this last part of RAIN—realization arises spontaneously, on its own. We simply rest in natural awareness”. Tara Brach

More resources

Kassandra Vaughn: 21 Ways to Make Your Fear Work For You.

Brendon Burchard https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUEK9Sab4Vs

Sadhguru: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7dZicpqY44